Funny the alertness of the human mind past the midnight hour. Funny how in your most placid moments those old histories run up your spine, rush up your throat like acid reflux. How in an instant there is a sudden yearning for the nostalgia of good times past. If you could go back to that moment, that sensation. If I could revel once more in that feeling that makes life so. real.

Why, do we drag ourselves through the milieu and the mud. Slogging through automaton. What do I make of my millions of forgotten moments. How do I count the seconds that have evaporated into insignificance. Rat on a hamster wheel motions. We probably only recall 15% of the memories we have. The other day to day is the mountain of trash we've discarded/wasted.

And maybe this is too Singaporean a way to think. That every minute must create value, wisely, economically spent. Positive returns. In the money. Maybe it is okay to waste, to lull away to nothingness. Maybe I'm just looking for a sign to where my life is going.