so what?
Leave the phenomenal world and enter the sublime . . .
about me
ELSA
Real name: Haha, you should know, if you don't, you don't know me well enough and you have stumbled on a stranger's blog...okok, its Tay Hu iling
Age: Born in 87!
School: SCGS, that will forever remain MY school, MY alma mater. NJC is just a temporary holding place, I will get out of it soon. (Newsflash: I have gotten out of NJC. Now in SMU)
CCA: Softball! WOOHOO! My favourite game . . .
Hobbies: Go online, reading books, sports . . and sulking here. . .daydreaming about hot babes
Fave artists: Madonna, Coldplay, Alizee, Bjork, U2
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Monday, March 14, 2011
I am going to be 24 this year. It's almost halfway to 30. And yet, things feel so unaccomplished. Like I haven't really done anything. Barely started work, still a small prawn in the big scheme of things, so many things I do not yet know, so many years of learning ahead of me.
So many years of learning ahead of me. So much that I still don't know about life.
Some days, I think that taking my time, going the slow slow way, so slow that sometimes I'm not even sure I've moved beyond an inch, is going to result in nothingness. Or at most, maybe, a bunch of hiccups and late corrections, a bunch of regrets. I don't know.
Things move slow. My life, moves so slowly. Feels..like I'm caught in sludge and it's tough to move forth. Work's fine. Work is okay. Work is... work. For now, too early to judge, pre-empt and wish. Just day by day, plan ahead a little. I guess now this is my life. The working dead? haha.
So this is now my life. The one where I'm supposed to be really good at. The logical world, the mathematical world, the one you can count and weigh and surmise and flex it around your mechanical head. Wield it with ease. The simpler world. I'll do well, I already know.
So this becomes my life? The one where I focus on career, focus on progression, on pace, on getting ahead and somewhere, of becoming one of value. I could see myself in this. See it stretch beyond the years. See it become life. Funny how 2 weeks in, and suddenly the hollow in the quieter corners of my world start to blossom. Even in the short short time I have to unwind after work, it reveals itself. I thought I had it killed.
Maybe not, maybe the more you fill up your hourglass, the more aching those moments when they are lucid.
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On another note:
My new colleague is damn f*cking cute.
DIE. lols
Somehow, the fact actually makes me sad.
elsa | 10:08 PM
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