- A friend posted this on her fb. I shan't tell her but I'll be copying it here onto my blog.
"To the people who matter to me (:
Think of someone you love. What is your relationship with that person? Think of an event that happened recently that brought happiness to the both of you. What was that event? When did it happen? Did it happen in the day or at night? Spend a few seconds to savour that happiness that is still lingering in your heart right now.
On the other hand, think of an event that happened recently that broke the hearts of both of you. What happened? Do you remember the words that were hurled at each other? Do you remember the hurt that you felt? Did you notice any sadness in his or her eyes? Is that hurt still lingering in your heart right now?
Think of this person again. How much do you value this person? If you can give this person a numerical value, with a scale of 100, how much will you give? This is not the same as rating that person. This is not an exercise for you to rate how well the person has treated you. It simply is the value of having this person in your life. Or rather, how much do you value your relationship with this person?
Economists make decisions by using the concept of marginal benefit and marginal cost. Imagine you have two mangoes, and you ate the first one. The benefit of eating the first mango is the sweetness in your mouth, and of course scientifically, the nutrients that you just consumed. Let’s say the benefit of eating that mango is 80. And let’s say the cost of eating that mango, which includes the price you paid for that mango and all other things like spending time to cut the mango, is 50. Since the benefit is greater than the cost of eating the mango, you eat that mango.
What happens when you eat the second mango? Perhaps, you are already full from eating the first mango and the sweetness of that mango still lingers in your mouth. The benefit of eating the second mango is now 40. That is the marginal benefit of eating the second mango. The cost remains the same. The marginal cost of eating the second mango is 50. Since marginal cost is greater than marginal benefit, you do not eat that mango.
The concept of marginal benefit and marginal cost analysis is very apt in our lives as well. Think of the happy event again. The happiness that it brought for the both of you, how that event strengthened the relationship between the both of you, etc. What is the value of this event? Are there any costs involved? Truth is, the difference in benefit and cost is positive and that is the reason why that event brought the both of you happiness.
Think of the sad event again. Did you torlerate the actions of the person up to a certain point and you decided that you’ve had enough? When hurtful words were hurled at each other just to piss each other off, how much steam did you let off? How much pleasure did you derive from hurting that person you love? Perhaps, you give a value of 40 when you hurt the person. That is the marginal benefit you get from pissing the person you love off. Hurling insults at each other or doing things that hurt each other is damaging to the relationship. How much did you say you value that person or relationship again? Was it 70 or 80? That is the marginal cost of your actions when you are angry or hurt. That is the amount of damage you are doing. Since marginal cost is so much greater than marginal benefit, why then do people always hurt the people they love the most?
As human beings, we get emotional when we feel threatened. Our precious pride might be threatened when people insult us. We build up a wall of defense around our hearts when we sense that hurt is looming around the corner. If only we can apply the concept of marginal benefit and marginal cost in our lives, our relationships with the people we love will be so much better.
As Paul says, “Love is patient, love is kind.” The word ‘is’ is often used when describing the subject. The dog is cute. The apple is green. And when Paul says that love is patient, love is kind, I believe he is not describing love as something that is patient and kind. In fact, I would like to think that he meant love, in itself, is patient. Ie, Love is patience. Love, in itself, is kind. Indeed, being in love means being patient and kind to the person you love. What would the marginal cost be when you blow your top at someone you love?
Paul went on to say that love does not envy, it does not boast and it is not proud. If that person you love is smarter or richer than you, you do not envy that person for the gifts that God has given to him. How much harm are you bringing to the relationship by being envious with the gifts that the person has? Think of the marginal cost again. Of course, you do not boast of your gifts too. Is there any marginal benefit when you boast about your successes or your talents?
“It is not rude, it is not self- seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” If you truly understand the concept of marginal cost and marginal benefit in your life, love will not be rude, it will not be self- seeking, it will not be easily angered and it will keep no record of wrongs.
If love is not patient, love is not kind, if it is rude, self-seeking and easily angered, and if it keeps records of wrongs, then you will find that the value of the relationship which you value now will decrease over time. And when that day comes, you will know that the relationship is over because the marginal benefit of being a little more patient, a little more kind, will be less than that if you had blown your top off and hurt the other person. And that is because you will no longer value that relationship. And then, you will realize that love is gone.
So always remember; love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of this is love."
I guess it speaks for itself. Hmm.
elsa | 6:08 AM
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