Wednesday, November 28, 2007

I've discovered....

the killer salad!!!

Serious! A formula for killer salads, that is just awesome awesome awesome!

Awhile ago, I remembered that one of the best salads I've ever eaten was at What ever cafe (near tanjong pagar), and it was a roasted vegetables salad. Extremely tasty, and very memorable. So last evening found me with 3 partially cut, red, yellow and green bell peppers to dispose of. I use the word 'dispose' becos I usually hate bell peppers. They taste bitter and ... weird. I tolerate them in my diet. Then again, it could be the case that we don't cook bell peppers the right way at home. Which is usually stir-frys. Urgh.

So I thought of a way to deal with them. (And no, the usual stir-fry is NOT going to cut it). Then I remembered this great way in which bell pepper was prepared back at S B. They roast it. Just rubbed simply with olive oil, salt and black pepper, they come out tasting utterly sweet, and melt-in-your-mouth kind of soft. Very decadent. I used to add them to my filled ro lls (which are brown burger buns stuffed with scrambled eggs, bacon and spread with butter) during my never-ever-boring lunches there. Mmmm.

Then! I recalled that great salad at that cafe... And how it contained grilled vegetables like pumpkins... and THEN! I recalled this great roast vegetable sandwich at The Food Bar n (which, in my humble opinion, is one of the best sandwich shops around. If you are a subway fan, but are sick of the usual sandwiches, you MUST try this place. Even sam ta n agrees, I brought her there once). In their roast vege sandwich, there were roast bell peppers and brinjals, and it was full of flavour.

So, remembering the taste of cafe salad + SB bell pepper + Roast vege sandwich equated to.... the killer salad! *Damn, if only my brain makes such leaps of connections in exams, I wouldn't have to think/study so hard!*

Seriously, why do I call it the killer salad? Becos this is one salad, you can't go wrong with. Some salads just don't cut it. They're bland, they're boring, they're standard fare. But this salad will always turn out above-average tasting, and it's not boring cos of the flavours in it (and if you want to elevate it to the domain of gastronomic orgasm, then you can improvise beyond the basic, fundamental method). If it goes wrong, there's something wrong with you.

Okay so how do you do a killer salad? You'll need:

1. Roast Vegetables
Bell peppers ----- (get a few different-coloured varieties), chopped roughly into inch-wide squares. You want big, not tiny pieces.
Pumpkin ------- (best to get the small organic kind with the deep dark green skin). Chop up pumpkin into squares, inch-wide. DO NOT discard skin. The skin is awesome, you must eat it. That is why it's best to get organic, then the skin is much safer to eat. People always make the mistake of cutting away the skin. Don't.
Any other vegetable which you feel would be suitable for roasting. I saw Jamie Oli ver roast slightly under-ripe peaches before, so if you want, feel free to add fruits to roast if you want a sweet flavour.

Rub cut vegetables with olive oil, sea salt and black pepper (I roasted the pepper corns, then pounded them, cos it's better than the dried ground ones). You can be generous with the oil. In fact. BE generous with the oil. Roast them in a big pan (with high sides) until they're browned and just charred a little.

2. Salad Vegetables
Whatever you fancy really... I used rocket, you can add lettuce (not the iceberg variety please, that is so macdonalds). Basically just add the 'attas' kind.
Cherry Tomatoes
Olives (if you're an olive person).

3. Garnish
You can basically go crazy here. And it's up to personal taste. Some suggestions - dried cranberries, lemon zest, seeds/nuts of your choice, maybe even cheese like goat cheese or feta, shavings of Parmesan?
For me, I did toasted sunflower seeds. Toasted the raw variety over a hot pan, until they yielded their oils and you can smell this toasty-nutty aroma.

Once roast vegetables are done. Remove from oven, let cool. Then dump your salad vegetables in, add some balsamico (or whatever vinegar you please), lemon juice if you want, and mix well. Remember we had a liberal amount of olive oil, which by now will be flavoured by the roasted vegetables. So there is no need to add more oil for dressing. Top it off with garnish ingredients.

Eat.

The best thing about this killer salad is that the flavour of the roasted vegetables penetrate every mouthful becos of the flavoured oil. Which differentiates it from normal salads... that grill/roasted taste. And nothing makes bell peppers more palatable than roasting them. And oh, if you haven't discovered grilled pumpkin? You gotta be kidding me!

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Taken from my friend's LJ:

Cultivate the cherry trees. Let them grow to maturity.

Some cherry trees will be there for shade, others to beautify the environment with their luscious leaves and flowers. But there will ultimately be one which will fruit with the reddest cherries. That will be the one to pick from and cultivate so that it fruits year after year.

-----

How true.

So it has come to a conclusion. Satisfying? Partly. Disappointing? Not really, was expecting it. Worth it? Absolutely.

I hope through all this... I've brought you to a better place than where we started.

Last night's talk in the car. I'll remember that. The feel of your lips. I'll remember that too.

So I discovered more things about you, more similarities. I think it could be the start of something good. Friendship-wise. Just like all the girls I loved but never got. We just end up such fucking-good friends don't we?


Good friends...


------------

I hope someone gets you one day.

Monday, November 19, 2007

The Four Loves, CS Lewis
"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to be sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one - not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safely in the casket or the coffin of your selfishness. But, in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, unredeemable. The only place outside heaven where you can be safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love, is hell."





Nice writing. =D What an understatement that is.




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Sunday: Just watched Chitty Chi tty Bang Bang last night. Not too bad. Eye-popping spectacle. The sets were luxurious and elaborate. Most elaborate stage set-up I ever saw. But then again, I haven't seen much.


Saturday: Nepal trip BBQ gathering. Awesome awesome food. All thanks to the previous cook. Got some scoop from Jo hn ("the wanker", according to her). Maybe I'll change some of my plans.


-----------

Have you ever had the experience of walking through a place you don't even recognise, your footsteps carry you forth but you don't know where. And you just go with the motion becos inertia is a hurdle from stopping.

Things get murkier the further you dive. Mud's obscuring the eyes and the sludge makes it tough to move. The water is colder and heavier. In the quiet dark, nothing screams louder than the doubts and cautions in your head. You could swim further into oblivion, or you could resurface to familiarity. The logician in you sits like the Lady of Justice, the scale trying to weigh the odds. But this is not a static story of granite and stone. Chess pieces are always shifting dynamically. And they're made of flesh and blood. You can't just kill off so easily.

And the masochist in you says that it is this part, which makes it so utterly deliciously gut-wrenchingly...


human.


And so. I'm in my element now.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Woo! Strangely, I'm loving my international econs. Did a very satisfying presentation today. I realise I argue most cogently in the topics I'm most passionate about. Like biz law, and now I E. Gives you that "oomph" feeling.

A few more weeks. And another semester draws to a close. Makes me feel bittersweet again. Makes me count the number of friends I have in SM U. And how few are truly close to me. Makes me sad about the angsty and irritable feelings felt during project groups. Feelings of dissatisfaction, of measuring friends by their academic worth, of struggling between pushing people and letting things be. Of worrying about GP A, now that I have a monetary impetus to keep it high.

I give up.

------------

Sometimes.

I think the most poignant and stark thing in the world is the polar opposites of people's perceptions. Like how...the person in your heart, can't seem to comprehend the depth of your feelings. And how much you appreciate them. Sometimes. I think it's almost criminal.

If only you could see....how much it means to me.


"Draws a heavy breath*

Said onion is in the water. But the water is warm, trying its best to boil.... But the onion stays opaque as ever. When would it ever melt for me? Maybe soon, maybe someday, maybe even never. But I guess I can't say for sure, I'd just have to stand by the pot and wait. Patiently. Great food isn't cooked in a minute. Great food requires lots of preparation.

But God!!!! ... puts a smile on my face.... and even if the cooking doesn't turn out right... I fucking tried anyway... and it's an experience nonetheless. I know more about onions these days...

And.



NO REGRETS.

I wouldn't change anything that has happened. For I'll wear my heart on my sleeve. It's called Love Pride. And I'm too proud to care what others think, for this is genuine and doesn't merit shyness nor shame.

Screw those who trample on or belittle this love of mine!



Rah baby. There's nothing you can't achieve.


El sa tay forever.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

So I've done it.

That's just me, I can't keep a secret inside myself. Maybe its a shift in behaviour from the past. Once you come out, there's no going back to bottles and boxes and little containers of darkness where I can fester. No more skulking about where it's all quiet. No more stifling that emotion that deserves to be given breath.

I'll wear my heart on my sleeve.

-----------

I've heard of people who spent years chasing the person they liked - 4 years - only to give up ultimately, and so very sadly. I wonder how far I'd go for you. And all the nay-sayers beside me tell me I should just turn away and stop wasting my time. The older, more mature ladies, shake their heads at me and tell me you can do this now cos you're young and you have youth on your side. You can take your time to bump around and make mistakes and linger... on gone-cases. Then they tell me I should find out soon if I stand a chance. And! If there is the slightest hint that she might not be receptive. Get your ass out of there.

Really? Is that how I should.... operate?

Must I be so damnably... Singaporean-ly... practical? Calculate your chances. Number your days. Measure her worth. Why not instead, be that idealist... and trust that days of abandon and flowing time with you would bring me closer. To a heart that even their owner hasn't found.

----------

It's been a loong looong time since I've spoken like that to someone. Anyone. How often, do you come across a mind that astounds? Nevermind its limited experiences. How often, do you find someone who is like you in many ways. Nevermind the unproven sexuality.

*oh oh!~ Carol! If only you met her! For she is so like you!*

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I'm leaving in 3 weeks. Time's running out.



And I want a kiss before I go. But I wonder if I'll get that far.

Friday, November 09, 2007

The last two days have been hellish. Project for 12 hours straight in SMU on thursday. That plus the fact that I slept barely 5 hours the night before....why? Cos of good stuff. So let's talk about that instead shall we? hee...

Wednesday night! was... woot!~ Another gay party! For a birthday boy!~ I love love loooovvvee house parties. And so was really glad I got the invite! It looked like there was going to be loads of pretty boys there, and lo and behold. Tis' all true! Have you ever been in a room full of beautiful men? Beautiful bodies, beautiful skin, beautiful hair, beautifully pink clothes. I was floored. I'm sure the boy friends I had were happy. It was like I've stepped into a fashion shoot, and it was all rippling muscles, tanned skin, well-cut shirts. If only straight men were this good-looking. But I digress... haha!

Saw quite a few of the church people there =) Though it was an overload of boys and smatterings of fag hags here and there. (thou shall strive to be the queen of them all!!). There were people drapped all over the furniture, spilling into doorways, corridors, balconies, lounging on wooden chairs, crouched around tables, boys sitting on boys' laps. Saw a couple of sm u guys whom I don't know... but actually, I don't mind getting to know them. It's always good to expand the network within school. Plus now I know another freshie 'other' from saturday night, haha!

Honestly? I don't know what possessed me not to eat more salad that night. For it was my fave dish. The sauce was divine, mysterious, don't-know-what, tangy. I loved it! Drank abit. Got red like a snapper. Tried to drink abit more, only inviting slapping by stu mp.

Drove out later to Newton, ate with the boys and girls. Didn't know Newton food was soo good!!! Oh gosh, and I thought it was just standard fare. Now I know to look out for beehive lady. =p

------------------------

You know, there was something I once heard on the show called, "The Secret", whereby if you really reaaallly want something....somehow... the universe will conspire to create it for you. Events will shape, moments will shift and the stars will somehow align themselves to you. And there I was, wracking my brains for 'excuses' to create chances. Last saturday night, was one. Lost. This wednesday, was another, lost.

Truth is, I couldn't understand why wednesday didn't materialise. I thought the menu was going to be the absolute bait. Like it was a big fat piece of salmon sashimi belly.. lying all prone and vulnerable. All ready for consumption by the person who knows what joys those slippery plops of pink, entails. It was so enticingly written, I give it an A+ for creativity and gay-ness.

Maybe it's the thought of going someplace and knowing only one person there out of the crowd of men. Maybe it's my insistence/over-enthusiasm. Maybe it's becos I offered to drive you home. (Yeah I must be mad to go that far distance away). Maybe.

Maybe I don't know. And I really won't ever know. Was on the bus today, pondering my options, not many left. The onion has been peeled to its barest layers. I've only got some pieces in my hands now. Things looked bleak. I still had something else to give, but I don't know how.

Then. Still. The universe conspires...

And here's one that has suddenly popped up this saturday.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Up-Your-Nostrils Party Night.

I was really looking forward to today.

It's been awhile since there has been an Indig nation-like event, where the boys and girls had officially-stamped reasons to mingle.

It was going to be at Mo x, which I haven't been to for awhile (3 weeks actually).

It was going to be on Saturday night .... and come hell or high water, I'm not going to be missing it for the world or compromising the social life to the devil that is school.

It was another chance, upon which hinges my first big step.

Things didn't turn out as I expected, hoped, them to. But nevertheless.... Here's what happened!

---------------

Me and some of the girls went to have a really nice but not bursting, chinese meal at Yum Ch a. Some chinatown restaurant. I lost my way and so was very late, but arrived just in time when the first dish was served.

Laters, we headed to Macs where we proceeded to shamelessly plunder the straw-box at the counter. Armed with our offending sticks, we started making our 'get-up' for the night. For those who've never seen the facebook invite, the most outrageously dressed person (theme: straws) will get a prize at the end of the night. So we started creating little accessories out of straw. Somehow, one way or another, mine turned out the craziest. I even felt a little apprehensive just thinking of wearing it.

But hey.

We only live once. That's my MOTM (motto of the moment). If I don't seize the chance to do something out of the ordinary, if I just played 'safe' all the time, I'll never move beyond my square. Therefore. Heck it. I shall wear that crazy head gear, and I better darn hell win the prize for guts.

Let's just hope other people dressed up today too and I won't be the only one looking like a fool yea? Hehehe... =D

Wells, murphy's law has a way of pouncing on you in the most socially embarrassing way possible. We entered Mo x, all with our do's and mine being most prominent, all expecting to see similarly straw-ed up people....

And.

Oh gosh. I was the only one (besides ir ene) who had straws on their bodies. It looked like a normal mo x night. Minor shock passes, inhales for courage, walked on into the bar, followed by a wake of turned heads. *omg omg I wanna get outta here!!!! No one did the same! How un-cool!!!!*. Decides to apply thick, slopping, concrete skin and parade around like a proud drag queen should!. I guess you could say I was screaming 'fag hag' the entire night noiselessly >.<

But things have a way of turning out to be blessings in disguise!

I actually won the prize!! My only competitor was "chio li- an n". Haha. A beautiful gay boy in beautiful drag. At first I thought he dressed up as an air-stewardess, then later sudden epiphany descended. Ahh! Haha, very cool indeed, very cool. The only flaw of the get-up? No straws. Aha!

THEN...

My group, appropriately named Dick Head, after its ringleader yours truly.... won the pop quiz prize!!! Mostly thanks to in du who knew all the speech details in TLA's parliamentary speech. And also to my meticulous and overly competitive counting of all the times the words homosexual/homosexuality was repeated in the 10-12 page written speech. 43 times in total. In fact, the emcee announced that one person was so free and kiasu enough to actually count the number of words...Haha yes, that's me, I'm a sucker for freebies and will 'suck' anything to grab hold of it. Especially. Mystery prizes.

Other than that, tried a new drink called Bellini. Pretty peachy. And sitting at Mo x bar stool in front of bartenders is ... I think now... the best place to chill at Mo x.

That and random white gay boys came up to me to have photos taken. Cue photos of faux fellatio and anal sex. One guy even tried to help me create a 'dick head effect' on my head gear with Heineken Coasters. Fag Hag quotient upped a million percentile this night. Should there be a good-progress award for this? Haha!

Best part of tonight?

The cam-whoring. Seriously. I went up on stage. They were filming the event. I am on film. Popped-eye bimbo look, fingers flutter to open mouth (Actually, that was my favourite photo pose of the night, haha.). And all the million of sick poses and shoots that me and my partner in straw-crime took. Oh gosh..

CANNOT WAIT TO UPLOAD THOSE ON FLICKAAARRRRR!!!

Tonight was really awesome. I enjoyed myself thoroughly *Narcississt YOU!*. Even though for some people, they kinda found it borring. Plus tonight there was really a display of the beautiful crowd. Boys and girls, damn everyone looks cherry-licious. Still....

... all the pretty boys and girls in the bar tonight, couldn't feel this stark absence beside me.



I wished you were here. I had something for you. Two actually.



Now I'm really stuck in the chest game. *sulks*




*Have you ever had the feeling whereby you hoped sky-high for something good to happen, and when the opposite happens instead, you actually feel a down-ward lurch of the heart. Like someone tugged at the chest and released, springing it back. That physical reaction*

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Sometimes.

I look at my bro in spirit in Christ and in heart, jere my snr. And I think he is really handsome. Yet.

Yet.


Look where we are...

And there are days I think his beauty is the saddest thing in the world. Cos I feel the ache as badly as you do brother.



"Where hence do dreamers go, when they float above their lofts and find their castles nothing but air?"

Wonderland can be bittersweet. More so than the real world. Becos in a psychedelic background of schizophrenia, greys and browns stand out like black marks you'd rather ignore.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=CPaNYtE0s0E

http://youtube.com/watch?v=UflhTOcICkE

Some of my all time favourite music videos....

Today I have a new hobby! Not sure if it'll sustain in the long term though...

Somehow, I've been thinking about food-related stuff lately. All the food talk with cc is stirring up all the culinary itchy hands again. But to cook food, you need materials. And looking at the pantry right now, I've only got the same old tired materials. Plus I don't have the time to create those messy kitchen storms of strivings again. Most importantly, my stomach has no more space for more food. I need to cut down. Like seriously. And save the tummy space for jaunts in the external gastronomia. Which, hopefully, will materialise come saturday night.

I really do hope so. For I only have one month left. One more month and I'm leaving the country, never to be heard again in 3 weeks (save for letters sent home). And in that insanely prolonged absence, could undo all the good work done so far. Plus the 21437218957983275201 number of parties I'm going to miss. The hari raya, 2-3 christmas parties, Christmas service, say oni retreat and FOR SURE there is going to be some bar/clubbing event. PLUS I haven't even counted in the 'clique' outings and ad hoc functions and meet-up with old friends. I'm going to be missing the craziest party month of the year.

Okay anyways, I'm digressing....

Said hobby is....*drumroll*....food sculpture! Yes I am interested in food sculpturing! You know those roses made out of daikon/radish, those figurines and works of art sliced and diced with various colourful hardy veggies? Yes. Suddenly, I had a sudden epiphany. Haha. Just this afternoon, whilst thinking of food parties and 'project' cookouts with people (singular?) who might appreciate such things and just might be receptive to such a hang-out concept, I thought of different ways to experiment with food.

And hey, since I can draw, maybe I can sculpt. Emphasis on 'maybe'.

But either way, I got hooked on the idea. And between a toss of the coin *heads = ask em y to allow me to come over and crash at her place, *tails = stay home and cut stuff....my brain forced a tails win. I didn't even mentally toss the coin. That's how seductive and overpowering experimental urges can be. When I have a food idea, I'll stop everything at all costs and do it (yes, I even once stopped studying for my quiz just so I can make pineapple floss and rice. Yes, you read right, I actually stopped mid-study. Me.)

So I took a carrot after dinner. Small one. Thick but short. Grabbed a paring knife and chopping board. And started slicing deftly away....

Doing sculpture reminds me of my art cc a in sc gs. Short-lived as it may be, I still remember one of my most poignant art failures. I couldn't do clay sculpture for nuts. The 'jug' turned out looking like 'tree trunk'. Art teacher says I can actually try to accentuate it further and really make it tree-like. Totally flabbergasted, I age 13, called her idea 'stupid'. Yes, I said it to her face. Without hesitation. Becos it was really stupid. At least to me. Art teacher was pissed, said some chiding remark which surprised me becos I had offered my frank and honest opinion and who doesn't find the idea of a clay tree trunk stupid?

*Pulls consciousness out of flashback. Eyes focused once more on the orange object. Knife makes a nick. And then more*

When it was done, it was one hour and 2 sculptures later. One basic sphere (I had to start small and humble, like shaki ra's breasts) with a face etched into it like a halloween pumpkin. The other, a tooth-y rabbit head with large bouncy ears, which was not too bad for a first attempt. I now know how to sculpt a rabbit head. Where to make the major cuts to form the shape. Where to smoothen down. It's the 3-d effect that I need to improve. But either way, I have two carrot parts in the freezer now! They shall remain there as long as I wish, and maybe once in awhile I'll take them out for photoshoots like this (camera obviously sucks. You can't see the bugs-bunny teeth here clearly):