Saturday, December 30, 2006

I am THOROUGHLY SICK of parties and gatherings. I think I met so many people this week I feel like puking already. It is very physically draining to come home at ungodly hours every night, just to wake up the next day for another meeting. Urgh.


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28th December 2006:

Today was the N JC softball Christmas party at Reg's place. When I heard it was going to be at Reg's place, I was like.. set, I am SO GOING for this one haha. Cos from past and extremely pleasant experience, Reg's mom can cook. Like restaurant standard food, it is that f-ing good. And true to expectations, I had my best Christmas dinner today. Moist, tender turkey (baked whole) with cream sauce, leg of ham with an awesome cranberry sauce, apple crumble, sweet potato sort of gratin, sambal with a kick, cream vegetables, turkey bread stuffing, marshmallows barbequed over a pit (in the house!), and ohmygawd crispy, sinful, garlic bread that was leaving everyone gasping for more. The turkey was SO GOOD, that we all sat around the turkey carcass in a circle and picked at the bones with our fingers. It was that animalistic. Pure carnal pleasures mmmm. In my heart, I declared myself a very happy person today. Going to Reg's was one of the best choices I made this December heheh! All thanks to the juniors for inviting us!

I think a total of FIVE generations of softballers (juniors and seniors came). I'm not sure if it was five batches, but somewhere around there. It was so cool and there were so many of us, old and young. It was nice to see the juniors again and laugh with them haha. Before dinner, we patiently waited and played some very interesting card games that had me laughing like mad (cos it was really hilarious), and I felt utterly immature again haha. I always get that feeling around the juniors lol! =p

After that, it was late but still, me, SJ and Ge rard went to A's near midnight to play mahjong at her house. It was probably the first time in 1 and a half years that I've played mahjong again, and it certainly was great to be able to 'revisit' the most memorable game of J C. We played until 2 am where it was terribly late, and went home half-satisfied cos people didn't get enough chances to satisfy that winning urge. Lol. But it was still good after all, to catch up with the softball peers.

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29th December 2006:


An insane four social appointments today. I was running all over the island and today was the last straw. After today, I was utterly sick of going out and I just want to NUAH the remaining days of my hols. I also want to STOP eating like a pig after all these parties.

First I met alph, jeff, and And rew to discuss Safe Hav en stuff at Kallang. Then after that we adjourned to a beach cafe at East Coast where I had a decent baileys and some very funny conversations. Haha, gay men are the only men who will actually talk about their 'feelings' and of 'crying'. My neck was also cramped cos these gay men are SO DAMN TALL, that me being short lead to alot of positional problems while chatting in a standing position lol.

After that, it was a softball gathering at Sett ler's Cafe at HV. Not bad. I laughed again like shit while playing taboo which is like.. haha, I think the choice game of SM U softball. Then we had a little high tea at Ya Kun. I only stayed for a short while though.

Right after that, I met the JC classmates for some sort of reunion (in honour of Herma wan) at Swensons. Also at HV (how utterly convenient =D). It was nice to see everyone again, and turn out was not bad. I think about 8 people. For our class, that is considered very good already.

Lastly, I headed back to the east for the PLU ME party at Nick's house. Whoa. It was SO gay. I met the queeniest gay men ever today. Let's just say there was endless laughter and I was rather amused by the differences between gay men and straight men. The way they behave, talk, carry themselves. It's all very interesting. There was this drunk girl who provided ENDLESS hilarity induced by her drunk state. Some very sublime and politically incorrect lines were said by her. And I was just very contented to stand by the side and observe her antics lol. Very bad yes, I know. But what can I say? I can't deal with irrational, intoxicated people. Today's food was not bad too. It was potluck at the party and there was ham with apple sauce, a very nice mash potato dish, fried noodles, chicken, chips and great desserts (think cheesecake, chocolate cake and mini fruit tarts which were delicious!). I decided I should stop eating after this latest meal. It is ruining my religious gyming in the school. (By the way, SM U has a fantastic, state-of-the-art gym. I love it so much that I actually want to exercise).

The only bad thing about today was softball training was cancelled despite the perfect weather. I wanted so badly to play. =(

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I'm so tired of people. Really very tired. So tired of seeing people, meeting people, talking to them etc etc. I want to be anti-social now and be a hermit. I never knew too much social appointments could make you sick of people. Well haha, now I know. It's getting too much. This is my maddest Christmas ever. And if Christmas is this bad, I can't imagine Chinese New Year (last year, I lou-hei-ed four times, I wonder if I'll beat that record this year... hmmm). I need to have some me-time. Some precious bonding time with me, myself and the computer game. Yes. I will nuah.

Next year is going to be a nightmare. I will be so damn busy with the harder module combination for uni. Plus, I have the youth group officially starting next week, my foot in way too many ministry events for church (ohmygawd I must learn how to say 'no' to requests for help), two ccas (and toastmasters is asking me if I *want* to be secretary. Oh gosh, I will just die if I take up that post).

I have NO TIME. It has not even started but I feel tired already. Zzzz.

27th December 2006:

Finally got to catch up with M indy today. It's extremely ironic that we're both in the same university but haven't seen each other for months. And I've already met up with the NT U or NU S people.

We went around shopping and she *valiantly*, haha, tried to change my image. Tough. Lol. Yes change is hard. And this was hard. I have to be slowly weaned off my trusty tees and pants. That and I gave the lamest excuse ever for not wanting to wear tube-tops. =p

Then I went to the gym for a good workout. Hip abductions are killer! 0_o
Today was a good day. =D

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Yep, you do have a point actually. Don't I ever wish to have a girlfriend? Heh, of cos I do. It's like a bedbug that bites you from night to night. From the moment I knew I was gay and acknowledged what I really wanted. That thought and curiousity. I just don't really want to verbalise it cos it's also a scary thought. What if it never happens? I don't know. That is a most unfathomable scenario. Am I really that sucky? I don't think so… maybe. Maybe it's just not meant to be. Cos sometimes I look at J T and I don't understand why he's single when I think he's got some good things going on. Better than a lot of attached people I see. Like those 'things' that me and xav err.. dislike. But I am aware ... of cos ... of people going through life never experiencing what love is. And I shudder at that thought that I might be one of them. Who's to say for sure. What a terror that is.

I guess I could *force* out a relationship if I wanted to. But you wouldn't ever settle for second best right? It's always the case of you never liking the people who do like you or the people you like never liking you. When would these two mutually exclusive groups ever converge? Plus, I don't want the first time to be 'hastily arranged' or 'rushed through' or a 'second-rate experience'. I want it to be memorable ... or at least worthy of future recollection. I want a pretty girl. I want it to be everything I ever imagined it to be.

Maybe it's the perfectionist in me. Maybe it's my high expectations (it is). Of cos, I also know fully well, that I'm probably going to ruin whatever relationship I get into becos of the person I am. I know myself too well, and how I have a habit of 'rushing' things. I don't even take time to enjoy my computer games properly, what more real life? Impulsiveness. Oh gosh, I could just kill it for being too eager. I wouldn't be surprised at all. *Shrugs*

But then again, I've never reached a stage with anyone whereby there is something to kill. Cos most of the time, there isn't anything to begin with. I feel like such a klutz sometimes. A lot of times. Only know how to stare at girls but don't know what to do with them. No real guts, unless pushed and shoved and aided by well-meaning lesbian friends. *Without whom I would be so utterly useless, right humph?* It's worse that I have a weakness for girls who look straight and duh, are most likely to be straight!

Imagine ... 95% of the girls you like are the wrong kind. Fantastic. I'm abit tired with myself. Tired such that I can't be bothered to deal with the group of people that are actually interested. "I'm sorry boy, but you're skinny. I only go for muscular men." *Shuts door*

People say I'm young, I have time. Hah! Who are you trying to kid? Time? Well, time and tide waits for no one, that's what my mom always says and she's right. My precious precious youth is ebbing away every moment every minute. The later you date me, the more my physical being would have deteoriated. I'm at my best. NOW. "When you start work, there won't be time". Yes I know that girl. I know that all too well. I have only four years left of school. I have only four days left to be a teenager. Time is of the essence. Seize the moment? Oh I want to! But things never ever work out the way you want it to, doesn't it? So how? C'est la vie? If only it was so easy....

I always tell myself it's up to you Lord, it's all in Your hands. But I sometimes wonder about Your plans for me. Is it going to be in the plans? Then I oscillate from being contented and 'enlightened' to going back and feeling sorry (urgh) for myself and wondering why, and where I'd gone wrong. And I know deep down I'm chasing all these wrong dreams and illusions of happiness when the one thing I should yearn for is God and God only. But I'm so weak-willed sometimes, and think that life is incomplete if I were to die without experiencing that one thing that makes us human. How stupid and utterly naive. Immature. Pathetic. Why can't I see beyond it? Yeah, call me weak. Call me pathetic. Call me desperate. Whatever. I don't care. It's the truth anyway. No excuses. I'm sorry I disappoint your impression of me. I suck, okay? Old news.

Why? If there's one thing I pray most to God about myself, it's this 'sin', this flaw. More than anything else. That He will take away from me this irrational desire to know love. I don't want to feel so much anymore.



Save me. You are the only one who can save me, more than any other girl. I need You.

Monday, December 25, 2006

I realise you are different personas to different people.

Like for example, in front of the LU SH girls, I am.. 'the child' since I am the youngest and sometimes feel 'mothered' (in a nice way) by the older girls. Whereas in Levi 's I'm 'the princess', since I'm the only girl and also the youngest, I feel pampered and priviledged. In front of the IR IS girls, I'm the joker, always ribbing other people and making wisecracks/smart-alecky remarks. Everywhere else in the gay community, I am that ageist, anti-thing, girl-crazy upstart. Only to xav, I'm the inner bitch-child who wears her prejudices on her sleeve.

But in front of the straights, I can also be a different persona. Somehow, I sometimes think I'm more mature around straight people. In front of serious (more artsy talkers), I actually discuss things and issues. In front of y ing, I am very 'myself' (I don't really know how to define what 'myself' is.... but I guess it's the quality of being able to say anything that comes to mind. To be completely honest. Like I'm talking to myself.) In front of some of the N J people, I'm the merry-maker, always looking for the next fun thing to do. Instant gratification. In front of the school softballer's, I'm the energizer bunny who just wants to keep playing and playing the fun stuff.

I like myself best when I'm abit more serious. When it's one on one and I'm talking about the things that matter to me. When during conversations I feel like I'm taking something home after all is said and done. When I learn something new from someone or vice versa. I like it when people see beyond the giddy, girl-leer-er, and realise I actually have something insightful to say. But I don't do that often, nor do I find myself in situations to do so. Or the motivation to do so. Cos at times, that is less fun and requires a deeper relationship. Maybe I prefer to be shallow at times. It's easier and pleases the crowd.

But of cos, only God knows the vulnerable me. Cos I only dare tell Him some things too secret to say to others. Anyone.

Who am I to you? I don't really know. Sometimes I think I'm pretty sure of who I am to others, but then again, there are lots of subconscious things I do which might rub people the wrong or right way. I could never know. Sometimes, you're so many different things all at once you don't really know what's the real thing and what's faux.

Sometimes, I don't really know who I fully am to myself. And I have all these images of what I am... ought to be. But it's not true, it's not happening, it's all just an illusion. I guess I might still be searching for the real me. But what if who you are... is defined by how you are remembered by others? Then isn't my identity dictated by the memory and imprint that I leave around me? That it's not really within my control cos it's going to be made up by so many parts and all of which are so varied and different. Cos I mean different things to different people.

I wonder what I'll be in the future. But the future is something I both want and reject. Cos in six days time, it will be the year 2007. The year I lose my teenhood and turn.....*shudder* twenty. The big digit has changed from one to two. No longer a *child*... even though I still feel like one. Will always feel like one (that I know). I don't wanna lose my youth. Once gone, never comes back.

I have only one shot at life. I cannot make a mistake. And thus I cannot squander this youth while it lasts in the instant that I'm blessed with it. Every moment ebbs away at this vitality. Counting down from the start. I think the body rocks now but as I speak, it declines. You rot from day one onwards. And I think the decadent philosophy of hedonism in The Picture of Dorian Gray is getting to me. Becos when you really get down to it, alot of what is say is true and makes sense.

Live for the moment. Becos it's all you'll ever have. And you don't know what you've got till it's gone. Youth is the only thing worth having in life. Becos unlike everything else, it cannot be earned. It can only be lost. So treasure whatever youth you have left.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Life. People... are surprising.

Last friday, I discovered that the most gu-niang girl in the SM U softball team, is most likely very gay-friendly. I didn't think she would be at first, since she looked very straight. No she ain't an ex-softballer. If she was, that might explain why she is gay-friendly since this sport is flooded with lesbians. Instead, she told me she had read one of oscar wilde's books, The pic of dorian gray. And was going to read (or had already read) one of lesbian writer Virginia Woolfe' s stuff. Then we discussed abit about books and especially Wilde's book and I detected a really neutral tone from her. Like it didn't matter that it was about homosexuality.

That was really cool =) And once again, never judge a book by it's cover.

On another note, softball is getting fun! On saturday, we trained together with this softball team comprised of much older women (some of whom were mums already), and I kinda felt very taken cared of cos they were very maternal to us (in a nice motherly way of cos). So that was nice =)

Hoookaay......

I am officially STUFFED.

2 weekends of back-to-back parties (from the gay side of cos) and a JB trip later, I have been pigging out like crazy.

16th December 2006:
There was the lesbian all grrls party at jin's place. Great food! I bought satay from makansutra glutton's bay. Je an got great chicken wings (also recommended by makansutra), there was home-cooked beehoon which was very nice, secret recipe cheesecake, a delicious italian fruitbread, polar puffs, chips, salad, red wine, vodka, and pizza. Omg, I stuffed myself silly then. But it was great! Good food, great company. I laughed as hell due to entertainment from steff i. Plus, I met someone new from the forum =) Then later after all the eating is done, we sang christmas carols with steff i on the piano. I sang my parody of "Jingle Bells' in minor key, and we all sang a whole slew of songs and that was very nice. I also got a miniature baseball bat (from Atlanta) during the gift exchange yay! It's soooo my thing.

20th December 2006:
My first time out of Singapore without the protection of parents! Yay! I was damn excited and wide-eyed about everything (which makes me seem really immature). Although it was only to JB, 1 hour away, it was still a milestone for me! We ate alot. Of cos. We had bak cut teh, goreng pisang, chocolate ice kachang, seafood dinner and dunkin donuts. Also I spent a grand total of only 2 ringgit cos I couldn't find anything worthy to buy in the shopping malls. 1 ringgit was spent on 1/3 of a donut (we shared), the other was spent on a stick of chewing gum. Somehow, all my meals ended up being free and paid for. So I really had nothing to spend on. Oh wells. But it was a great day and I wanna do it again sometime! =) *hint hint*

However though, I think I ate something bad cos I came back with a bit of upset tummy and diarrhea.

23rd December 2006:
Levi's party!!!! Today was probably the most over-planned/prepared levi's party. I woke up early to marinate the chicken wings for the BBQ cos that was what I was going to bring for our potluck/BBQ session. Other food items on the menu: logcake, tiramisu made by ex-chef-apprentice jere my, oven-baked mushroom chips, chicken steaks, sausages, bacon, prawns, squid and sweet potatoes for the BBQ. If you realised, there is very little.... actually almost none...carbo. It was meat meat meat all the way. As for drinks, whoa.. I think I consumed a hideous amount of alcohol today. First of all, the drinks handed out was either white wine or vodka in raspberry juice. A lot of the meat was doused and flamed with white wine. The tiramisu contained brandy! Omg. After a while, my heart started racing very fast and I was breatheless and panting. And becos my heart was racing, I was feeling very tired even while doing nothing. Worse still, this continued for about half an hour of non-stop heart racing. It was very draining. I felt faint for one scary moment. But it was really fun today! Haha, ironically, I manned the grill most of the time cos I was doing my chicken wings. The 'queen-ier' guys just ate. Thus I ended up with a new nick today. Instead of princess, I'm the elsa-male (not alpha-male, but the elsa-male). Cos I was more man than some of the men. LOL

There were lots of funny cheeky moments. Like me and mark shared a squid tentacle... by mouth. A lot of air kissing between me and the rest. ("Levi's is turning straight!... or more likely... lesbian [since some of the guys can be so girl", said someone) We e's boyfriend, pa ul came. And this guy is really hunky. Muscular, tanned, totally my kind of fantasy male. So I kept feeling his bicep just to see what real alpha-male muscles feel like lol. I even wanted to touch the chest but lol... haha, better not cross that line lol. Then jo took lots of photos of us. Some were candid, others were poses (will post them up later). He hooked up the camera to the TV and we all gathered around to check out the photoes of the evening. And since there was this incredibly powerful zoom function, he started zooming onto everyone's faces in the photos. Pores, glistening skin and all. It was totally unglam but it was super funny. There was even a zoom in onto someone's nose hair.

We also watched L word, a lesbian sitcom (!!!) Lol, when the sex scene came on, I was in the toilet and I could hear shrieks of 'Eeee' or 'Ewww' coming from the TV area. Lol. One of the best levi's parties ever =D

29th December 2006:
It's not happened yet. But it is either going to be a SM U softball party or a PL UME party. Mmmmm =)



I'm very tired though. I can't believe school is starting in 1 week's time. How to get back to studying like that?

Thursday, December 21, 2006

It's fun to be the 'clown'. But only for a while. Not forever.

I know some people can see beyond 'the jokes'. But unfortunately, I can't say the same for me. So there's nothing I can do about it. Nor do I want to.

And anyway, I think I'm too caught up in my dreams to really care. *I'm selfish. So sue me. Pffft*

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

19th December 2006:

Today was my second Toast master's meeting for the holidays. And it turned out to be very good!!

Actually I was kind of dreading going for TM today... after all, I had to give a speech this time. It was my project 3 speech. And I knew that it definitely would not be as good as the project 2, which totally wowed the audience. And so I knew I had to live up to pretty high expectations. This added pressure wasn't very comforting. But either way, I still trudged on and rehearsed the speech. Once again, everything I said was in some way related to sexuality and my gay life (because most of my epiphanies come from there... and all I ever speak about in TM are my lessons learned in life).

So I wasn't expecting very much today.

I was the first to give the speech. Then followed by the other TM seniors who gave theirs. I really liked some of the more humorous speeches, and so I thought for sure... I ain't gonna win best speech tonight. Then later we continued on to table topics. For the uninitiated, table topics is an impromptu speech. A volunteer goes to onto the 'stage' and is given his topic right on the spot, and he is suppose to speak off the cuff without prior preparation. Today's table topics had a christmas-y theme. And volunteers got to choose from an array of gingerbread men who had 'topics' written in frosting underneath (which you'll see when you retrieve them from the goodie bag).

I was quite motivated by the prospect of getting a free gingerbread man to snack... and also by the strong desire to sing my 'jingle bells' rendition. Somehow or other, I was going to insert that song into my speech no matter what. That song was too good and funny to pass up, and I was sure the crowd would appreciate it. So I volunteered for table topics and my topic was the 'spirit of giving'. This was quite easy.. so I started off by saying I was going to talk about 3 gifts that I gave over this season of giving. First was my sister's birthday present, second was the present for a gift exchange. And the last was a gift to S MU TM club, which was a song I was going to sing to them now. So I ended with the song and a merry christmas farewell. =)

Surprisingly, after the other formalities and project evaluation speeches were done. They gave out the prizes for the night and I actually won both! =) Best prepared speech and Best table topics. I was quite taken aback for the former, but the latter was kind of expected so that was alright.

Now, in TM clubs, sometimes you will get visiting TMers from other clubs. They might just sit in and participate or they have a specific role to play. For the past couple of sessions, there was always this language evaluator from a TM club from the east (in other words, non-SM U student). Today I thought she looked abit cute. But nevermind about that. However, when people started mingling, she came up to me and started talking about blogs... and even asked if I blogged. I was like.... 'Huh?? Why?'. Then she said she thought I was a very intelligient girl. 0_o Lol, somehow I think she got that impression from the speeches that I made. But then I was thinking in my head, 'huh? no way I can show you my blog'. First of all, it's blatantly lesbian. (And I'm not about to come out immediately to a stranger) Second, there's nothing intellectual in it lately. Cos lately, it's just babbling about girls! (in unecessary, long-winded details). She probably expects to read more 'intellectual musings' like the ones I give in the speeches. But nooo haha, you'd be sorely dissappointed in my blog. For now. She even offered to trade blogs as an incentive for me to give her my url. But I still declined anyway.. and got her blog url in the process lol! So that was an interesting occurence for the night.

*Anyway, major disclamier here: I am NOT interested in that girl. She has a fiance. Just because I say she is cute does not imply I like her. Note: I am still pining over Flu Girl. So there's your clarification*

Anyway, I've decided to post my TM speeches. Here:

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The best of the best......project 2 (as inspired by love guru, Humph):

Title: The hottest person in the room is me.

Ladies and Gentlemen, a very good evening to all of you.

People say, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Well, I kind of disagree with that statement. I believe that beauty is in the eyes of the 'hypnotised'. Because if you have what it takes within you, you can make any body fall in love with you. No matter what shape or size or which cave that you crawled out from.

But in order to do that, you need to become the hottest person that you were meant to be.

Today, I'm going to talk about something that is very close to our hearts. Love and dating. In this lusty and hormornal period of our lives, many of us are going through our first romantic experiences. Our first kiss, our first date, even our first break-up. But I'm pretty sure that there are some of us in this room, who have yet to even make our first move. And the one singular reason that is holding us back is.. our lack of self-esteem.

Love is a two way relationship. But before you can embark on relationships, you need to first build a relationship with yourself. You have to believe that you are an attractive person. That you are desirable. Becos if you believe this in yourself, others will believe in you as well.

Let me tell you a story. One of my good female friends was once hit on by a guy in a nightclub. Now, this guy looks dorky and nerdy. He was pimply and rather stout. In other words, he wasn't very aesthetically pleasing. However, he swaggered towards her with the air of James Bond, bought her a drink and said, one of the most sublime, mathematical pick up lines I've ever heard in my life. He said, "May I lie... tangent to your curves?" And the moment he said that, she was amazed by his self confidence, belief and guts that she immediately agreed to go out with him.

Therefore, confidence is your sexiest tool. You have to be aware of the fact that you are indeed a hot person, and truly live out that conviction. That self-confidence... is the first step to romantic bliss.

Now that we know that we are all hot people. We must next understand, that hot people, just like hot property, have a high market value. Just like there are many 'buyers' who desire us, people are practically falling in love with you left right and center. Hence, this brings me to my second principle about dating: Never ever, date exclusively. That is a no no.

Let me give you an analogy. If you put all your eggs in one basket, you lose everything if something goes wrong. Similarly, if you place all your romantic hopes in one person, rejection by that person will hurt you deeply.

Some may question, how is it possible that I can like many people at once? Isn't that kind of greedy? Well, my belief is that one should not discount people based on misleading first impressions. Get a chance to know more people better, you never know when you'll find that diamond in the rough. Plus, who said one can’t date a few persons at the same time?

Now this ties in with my earlier principle of self-confidence. Becos if you know that you are hot, don't let lovers choose you. You choose your lovers.

In essence, I just want to say that... you can go through life either through two ways. You could either sink into the self-fulfilling belief that you are inferior, second-class and never good enough for the object of your affections. Or you could discover that inner attractiveness that lies in each and every one of us. And truly believe it. I've come to the conclusion long time ago, that no matter what people may say and criticize about me, they will never take away my belief that I am someone special. That I am someone beautiful who can offer others the world.

At the end of this night, if there is nothing that you can remember of this toastmaster's meeting, I hope at least that you are aware,… that the hottest person in this room.. is yourself.

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The project 3:

Title: People: Underrated and Overlooked.

First of all, I'd like to ask all of you a question. How many of you have friends who are above 30 years old? Hmm not many. I think for most of us students, our friends are students or other people our age. After all, we find our friends through school, perhaps the army for guys, maybe through church, or through co-curricular activities. But how often do we step outside the boundaries of school-related activities to meet other people? Personally, I feel that for most students, the social circles that we find ourselves in tend to be very limiting. Take university for example, only the top 5% of the entire student population in Singapore makes it to university. And out of that top 5%, SMU will tend to attract a certain breed of people who are supposedly different. So the people that we end up mixing with in uni, constitute only a very very small fraction of the student demographic. What about school dropouts? What about those who are in ITE or in art schools such as Laselle or National Academy of Fine Arts? What about those who aren't students? Do we get to interact with them?



Ladies and gentlemen, today I want to convince you that we should break out of this vicious cycle of interacting only with people like you. People who are smart and rich enough to come into SMU… in other words… the elite of Singapore's education system. I think you've heard this cliche many times. It is cliche that is used by the PAP very often, that people are the most valuable resource of the nation. Well, I have a different take on this cliche. I feel that people are the most valuable resource that you can have in your life. Because it's not how high your IQ is, or how silver your spoon might be. The one thing that will take you furthest in life … is the people around you. To explain this, let me illustrate 3 points.

Firstly, we learn by experience. However, I feel that a better way is to learn through other people first, before you actually jump into the deep end of the pool to experience something. Before I came into SMU I knew some seniors who advised me about university life. For example, how GPA resembles the human body. Over time, it just keeps declining. If not for them, I think my first semester would have been a bumpier ride than what it actually is. Hence, my point is that people have a vast and valuable wealth of information which we can tap on. Each of them all have a lifetime's worth of experiences which you can learn from and draw upon. So if really want to learn something useful in life, don't look for textbooks or self-help books. Go to someone, because the human experience is so much more powerful and applicable to your life.

Secondly, I believe that interaction with others increase your awareness of this world. And the more diverse the people you meet, the more diverse becomes your awareness. This is why I feel that it is very important to mix outside the student population and people our age. Because of our youth, we have very limited life lessons to draw upon. Moreover, a lot of us have gone down the same academic path (secondary school to junior college to university) and thus our shared experiences are so similar that … there is nothing different. So in terms of mutual learning, there is little that we can gain from each other... as compared to someone who is totally different from us. For example, I've had the good fortune to meet and make friends much more different than me. In fact, a lot of my friends are working professionals; and some of them are school dropouts or art students. Each of them comes from unique backgrounds and I find it extremely enriching to interact with them because they offer me a different perspective on life as compared to the stereotypical student.

Lastly, the more people you know, the greater your opportunities in life. Let me tell you a few real life examples … Right after the A levels, many students will go out into the job market looking for a part-time job. A lot of them signed up with employment agencies. What about me? In fact, I didn't even do anything, but somehow I ended up with three job offers. One was to work as a secretary in a law firm, another was to work as a receptionist for an orthopedic and the last one was to be a distributor of flyers. Now, how did I get all these job offers without even thinking about it? It's not like I have a lot of qualifications. In fact, I can be very lazy. So why? And the answer, is people. Friends. Connections. You'll never know when the next opportunity will come knocking on your door. And the more people you know, the greater the chances that... things will just drop from the sky onto your lap. Just like what happened to me.

Hence, I want to conclude by saying that the moment I stepped out of the usual social circles of academia, and started interacting with people much more different from me, my life changed quite dramatically. All these invaluable learning experiences I've had, I would have never gotten to experience them if I had not met these people. However, I also know that practically speaking, we have limited opportunities in our daily lives to interact with people outside the student demographic. Thus, we must create these opportunities for ourselves. For example, join an interest group or external club. And once you get there, you will then realise the benefits of this powerful resource called people. Because it is people…that will bring you to places you've never been before.

[Writer's note: of cos, I never mentioned where I met all these 'different and diverse' people. But I did tell the TM president later though, cos I'm out to him =) ]

16th Dec 2006:

There was a christmas party for the LU SH and IRIS girls today. I'm too tired to blog about it although there was many happy memories. Therefore, good night.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Yesterday was sister's birthday. I bought some small gifts for her and more nail art!!! (haha I bought stuff which we can share...lol). To celebrate, we went to Michange lo's near Chip Be e Gardens. It was not bad. The black cod was fantastic, and the seafood was so fresh that I was pretty sure my damn crunchy prawn just died before being served. The desserts were nice too. And as I was eating, I was damn sure some white wine would go very well with the food. But of cos if we ordered wine, the bill will just skyrocket.

Speaking about nail art... I just love my nails now! They are a shimmering lilac colour with black butterfly sticker-ons studded with tiny jewels! So lovely! It's all done by my sister, my personal manicurists (who offered to buff my nails too) cos I'm too inept in applying nail polish (turns out very ugly). And I've been taking photos of my nails like mad heheh.

Now, I am starting to like small little pretty things...

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Yesterday I went for another relative's gathering. The aunt from paris had returned and they were having some mini celebration in the household of the vegetarians. So that means healthy no-meat dinner for me yesterday.

As expected the whole dining room, heck the whole house, was filled with ji za po. And they were all speaking very fast in hokkien and dialect. Since I didn't understand much of what they were saying, it was quite interesting to be surrounded by a cacaphony of foreign noises made by familiar people. You feel like you're watching your favourite cartoon but in a different language. There was only one man in the house - the husband of one of the ji za po. Poor thing. He sat far away from the riot of noisy women... in the living room, with me, where I was reading my book.... while the women raised hell and fussed over dinner.

After the whole show was over, my aunt from paris came to say a few parting words to me. She asked if I had a boyfriend. Haha. Mmmm. I'm not telling. So I just shook my head and smiled in the guai nu er way. Then later, at the lift, she comes and tell me something similar.

She said something along the lines of..."don't be with girlfriend hor"

Girlfriend? What girlfriend?

"Don't take it so seriously hor".. and gave me a matronly smile cum stern glance.

I was like... omg, my mom told her! Whoa. I thought when you come out to your parents, they go into another closet. A closet made for parents of gay kids. Well, I guess my mom has 'came out' to some relatives. And the incident yesterday made me wonder... how fast this gay identity of mine is starting to spread.

So some relatives know... Hmmm. -_-

Monday, December 11, 2006

The other day, the Lev i's guys were starting to discuss the possibility of having another girl in the cell. Being the current one and only girl in the all-male cell, I suddenly felt threatened. Like.. gosh.. someone is going to share the feminine throne with me. I won't have the priviledge of calling myself the only girl! (And mar k also said that, "Haha, then we can't call you princess anymore". Sob! I actually really like it when they do call me that). But I guess oh wells, such thoughts are really superficial and frankly, I theeenk I won't mind having another girl in the cell. After all, all the male newcomers are great and have fitted in nicely. What's with an extra girl or two?

Oh wells, at least I have a lot of nice events to look forward to! The house parties, overseas jaunts to the place which calls itself 'truly asia', hanging out at EC P =), clubbing, catching up with old buddies, my computer games. Mmmm. That reminds me, I need to start bugging the cell guys on a christmas celebration plan. I also realised that I've overbooked myself, and now cannot make it to some of my ccas.. bleah.

That said, I think I need to start weaning myself off the new S MU crush. Urgh.

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There's something wrong with my cbox. Does anyone know what I can do?

FARK.

Okay sorry. But that was the only thought in my head a few moments ago. Bloody...fark.

She has a damn bf!!! Of five freaking years some more. Long time couple. Damn damn damn. The moment I saw the msn pic, I was like.."Oh God". It's all over. Only platonic goals now els a. NOTHING MORE. Okay, at least I still wanna have her as a friend. She is very nice to talk to and friendly. Better than nothing. At least I would have found a friend in a senior, since I don't want my s mu social life to be all about students in my batch. Yes. I definitely want her as a friend. It's rare that you can find people to clique with. Just no more 'predator' component for me. But sigh.. she is really pretty.


(Anyways, I had this nasty feeling that such a nice girl couldn't be single. Plus she wasn't very gay acting/looking to begin with. The classic straight sweet girl next door. I should have heeded the alarm bells ringing long ago)

Ah wells. At least the pressure is off. Smile babe.



fark

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Today I watched something that hit home to me. And I totally related to it.

If you thought sexuality is my only issue, there's also that of... height. Or rather. The lack of it. Today there was a show on C N A about short people and the issues they have with it. And there were so many things said which echoed what was in my head long time ago. Some of which were similar to what homosexuals will vocalise.

For instance, how short people feel different, how they always thought they were the only such people in the world and were alone (cos usually they would be the shortest in class etc). And when they grew up later, they realised that actually... there are others like them. And that they are not alone. Also, they learn how to cope with it, and in a certain way, it's a blessing in disguise because they grow strong from this... 'handicap'.

Alot of the things the people said on the show felt like me. Like how, short people tend to overcompensate for their 'shortness' by trying to achieve more. As if there is something to prove.

And also.. gosh... this one! How people always call you cute.

I have an issue with 'cute'. Yeah yeah, I've heard it a million times. "Oh els a, that's so cute!" or "You're sooo cute haha!". And I smile back with saccharine sweetness. I don't like cute. Don't want to be cute. Cute means 'adorable but ugly'. Cute is safe. Cute is platonic. I want to be pretty, to be beautiful to be desirable attractive etc. I don't want to be cute.

Because when you're cute. They always see you... as a friend only. Yes. That's what someone on the show said, they always just see you as a friend. A dependable, nice, cute friend. Someone to hang out and have fun with, but not someone to love that way.

I don't know if I project that 'cute' image. (maybe it's my sense of style, whatever you might call it. It's not exactly very fashionable, it's more functional than trendy) But I find myself getting pats on the head by taller people. Sometimes it doesn't bother me. Sometimes, it's an affront. Many times. Even in uni it happens, when I'm like already... freaking 19? No more a kid? But I guess people see me as small and oh gosh, cute. I stumbled onto the blog of one of my camp groupmates, and the one thing she had to say about me was that... I was the smallest in the group. Whoa. What an impression.

One guy still ribs me for being small. I usually ignore him when he does that. In fact, I do that all the time in the past when people tease me about the height thingy. And I used to think I could take it and would have no issue with it. Until one day, I was at home after sec school... recounting an incident that just occured that day. How another of my friends went into the 'short and cute' tirade of jokes again. Then I started crying. And then I guess I was surprised how much it could hurt, even though I'm so used to it already. Sometimes. Enough is enough, and it was getting too much already. I was tired of putting up with all the teasing, and it was draining to smile all the time and pretend everything's fine. Cos it's not.

There are other sucky things/issues I had. Like how everytime I had to look up to others to talk to them. And worse, how every single girl I fall for or crush on.. usually tower over me. It's not very nice in a way. Being one head shorter sometimes makes me feel as though I'm a kid next to them (and I wonder if they see it that way too). And I know all the people I like will be taller.. cos haha, you don't get any shorter than this. Then I think of all the potential 'problems' that could happen. Like what if I want to spring a surprise kiss on someone? I would have to tip toe and lean in. Instead of just leaning in. People can't lean on my shoulder. I'm never at their eye level. There are positional problems when it comes to..... nevermind.

There are also lots of constant reminders in the world that you're shorter. Sports is one big area. Everytime I play basketball or any of the big ball games, I get blocked easily, and it stinks. But at least, heheh, I've discovered a sport whereby short and tall people are advantageous. Haha! You guessed right! Softball! Tall people can be pitchers.. and short people have an advantage during batting cos their strike zone is smaller (and thus this makes the pitcher's life harder). Also, there was a survey done that said ... for every inch that you are taller, you earn 800 bucks more than someone in the same situation as you, but shorter.

Plus when you're short, long skirts are such a no no. It makes you seem even shorter and to wear long skirts nicely, you have to have the height to carry it. The same goes with boots and other fashion stuff for tall people. People also block your view all the time. Not that I want to force my way to the front, I don't have a choice. And sometimes, I just think it looks plain silly and stupid when you're forever craning your neck to look up to the taller people to speak to them. It's tiring.

Sigh. And I guess being short is my biggest self-esteem 'dragger-down' when it comes to looks. Cos if there is one thing I would like to change about the way I look, it would be that I was taller! Also, the fact that I'm not even taller than my parents bugs me alot. It makes me wonder.. did I 'short-change' (no pun intended) myself in some point in my childhood lifestyle? Perhaps not eating the right thing or over-starving myself in a bid to get out of the TA F club? Why am I not taller than my mom at least? Like all other kids are?

Oh wells, win some lose some. Gotta live with it at the end of the day. May my future kid (if I have one.. or more than one) not be short. I will make sure the father is a TALL BIGGG man. Yeah.

Friday, December 08, 2006

(mindless pondering induced by flu delirium)

What is it with S MU girls and their disdain for spoonfeeding?

It's just an observation I gathered from my interactions with some of the (pretty of cos) girls in school. For instance, par is hil ton refused to let me tell her what my cca in jc was. She wanted to guess it and resolutely refused any hints from me. Another incident is with Flu Girl a.k.a. the prey. She totally tried to stop me from telling her the synopsis of Pride and Preju dice. Even when I tried telling a few times, she would shush me. She doesn't want me to spoil the plot for her (even though I'm just going to describe a wee bit only).

Hmmm. I kind of like that actually. Girls who don't just want to take a straight answer from you. They want to figure things out. Mmmm. I've never really met people like that before. It's only a few isolated incidents yes, but it's interesting to note nonetheless.

Maybe there's some truth to all that SM U marketing. Heh.

She passed me the flu! Damn it! I shouldn't have drunk her water....

Grrr.. this really sucks. Now I can't play softball, and may not be able to go out tomorrow when I have so many things planned! For example, visiting of NT U campus at noon, PP C fair after that. Bloody hell, I was sick during the previous fair. Don't want the same to repeat. URGHHH!!! My plans for a smashing weekend is ruined. Why? Just like the previous weekend whereby a whole line of pre-exams activities were lined up. All unnecessary illnesses which I could have avoided. (serves you right for wanting to be so close to Flu Girl)

Pissing me off. Hmph! RARRRRRRRRRRR!!!


I can't even do anything. With this clogged up nose and dry parched throat. Talking is a beast and the sister has capitalised on this by taking the chance to verbally abuse me on my toilet habits, while I sulk in silence. I can't even play my numerous computer games, or lie down in peace. I can only listen to music, watch TV or trawl blogs (and re-check and double check them for updates every half an hour, cos there's nothing else to do when you're sick). I don't even have that much energy to concentrate on reading. (Much less my rather fruitless and painful 5 minute attempt at finding Pride and Pre judice in my house). Worse, I spend my time micro-analysing (in sheer lunacy and in vain) her emails to me *why would she double-post her hp no. when it's obvious I'll get it the first time round? Why post her email specifically when the email details show it already? Hmmm*... and also her behaviour during those 3 days *I think she acts like the way I act towards her. That kind of way. But no no no you're so wrong about that. Misreading misreading*.

Stop speculating with that overly optimistic outlook els a.

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On a separate note, I think I might want to add in privacy filters for this blog. There are unknown people reading it. Also, I've one more month to my driving test *crosses fingers in anticipation*. BB DC is going to be my new hangout.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

She likes pink. It's evident on her. Pink jacket, pink wallet, pink water bottle. How cheesy. But never underestimate the power of persuasion. I don't find it cheesy at all on you.

Her nails are painted, with that classic matte colour which is disagreeable with me. Too common. But her hands are still nice nonetheless. And her toes have that same nail colour.

She has streaks of auburn in her hair. And when she flicks her fingers through them, (I sit slightly behind) I can smell the scent of her hair. So I take a deep breath. *and ironically catch her flu-bug*

She has a million things in her bag it seems. Tissue paper, "Do you have tissue paper?" She asks and dumps one packet into my bag (surprised) so that I can carry it for us. "Oh I have, it's alright"... and dumps it right back to her on the table. A tad bit too hard? Maybe I should have been gentler with her tissue. *Slaps self.* There's also a whiff of feng you in the air. "Who's is that?" I asked. "Oh it's mine" she says sheepishly (to me it seems that way). And dabs some on her hands and rubs them together, bringing her palm to her nose to inhale the oils. She doesn't care that it ain't glam.. to do that. She has a bit of flu, and sneezes into her tissue paper in the most delicate way.

She has hoop earrings.. just like Hoop Girl's but different, and a red scrungie which holds together her very long hair. And a watch that is the same design as mine, just abit larger. I hesitate to say I have the same. Actually, I hesitate to say a lot of things. But I'm glad I called you 'munjen', cos you laughed in knowing.

She's the bookish type. She says she's going to read Pride and Preju dice soon (I wished instead it was SQ: 21) and plans to spend her vacation curled up with a book. She doesn't bother much about ccas. I wonder then what fills her life. She can read wo bao and the hieroglyphical chinese characters on it. I'm amused. That 'munjen' girl. She doesn't act like one at all. Sometimes she doesn't even act like a senior at all. And seems to have come right down to my level of noob. Casually, accidentally. She's 22.

We go to the toilet together. She takes a swig at the sink and gargles. Spits. Then splashes her face with water. (Totally unorthodox and once again, seemingly unglam. But she doesn't care, I like that) I speak to her and she turns to me, face dripping, slightly dazed. And dabs at her eyes. "Contacts issit?" I ventured. "No I don't wear contacts". Wow, she ain't myopic. Is she really local for real? Not like most chinese girls.

Another toilet trip together. I turn on the tap and water gushes out continuosly. She tries to stop me but it's too late. "Use mine it's still running!" And so I used hers instead while my tap runs wasted. "Haha so you're into recycling and environmental stuff?" I said, and she says yup and smiles. Cool. Just like me.

We all sit in a circle around the half-mannequin, laughing and watching others do CPR as we all take turns. She conferences with me on ways to do it. And my throat remembers the prints her fingers left. I'm shocked you touch others so easily. But it's just you, nothing to do with me.

She turns her head to talk to me, and I spy her dimples from the side. Peeks at her side profile (which is sublime, I wished I had a picture of you) from time to time, as she ponders... deep in thought and scribbling furiously on her notes. Meticulous and neat. She offers me a pen readily, when I have one and am too slow to find it.

She walks behind me, after the test. I came barging out, funny feeling in the tummy and trying to get to the toilet as fast as possible. I know she's behind me, but nature calls stronger. She calls my name and on cue I stop and wait for her to catch up. Never mind about nature, an opportunity presents. An opportunity to talk alone. After all, she teases abit, and it's a enough to show me the potential in you.

She asks for my number wow. I wished somehow, and construct the situation in such a way that I can end at the same time as her. But no, it doesn't go as planned. She leaves and says goodbye before I can finish my practical. I've missed my chance to walk home together. She goes out. And leaves me hoping, that when I come out of the test room later, I'll find her waiting. But no.

It's not you, it's just me. I know that.




-----------


I know, that you had a foreign student partner for the course, whose english is not so good and usually they are hard to clique with. I know no one else really talked to you. Except for me who made the first gesture of friendship. Cos I first saw you across the room and demanded silently, "My gawd, who is that cute girl there?". And you reciprocrated. Grateful perhaps. Happy to find a friend in this 3-day course. I know you're touchy-feely by nature, I've seen you work it on other people. I know you're just being your friendly self. And when you do all those nice friendly gestures it's as straightforward as that. Nothing more. I know when you say you want to do the comm service requirements with me it's becos you've found a friend in me. Nothing more.

But I wish and pray otherwise. Cos I want something more.

Technically, I still have 48 hours with you. Cos we have to fulfill our red cross duties as new members. 48 hours minimum. But that time is going to take a long way to come. One day later, and I'm missing you already. You're very nice indeed. Too nice to ignore after all is said and done. Not like the rest at all.

She's a bit like you. The things that got me. A few seemingly insignificant details here and there. Just like you. But it isn't lost on me.

---------

Welcome heart, to your first real SM U crush. The rest were just eye candies. (With the quality of the girls here, I fear this might be a frequent occurence) And so the same old nightmare restarts....


Deja vu my friend.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Day 3 is over. But I got the prey on msn.

Mmmm.

*Hoop Girl has been replaced... for now*

------------------

"So raise your hands to heaven and pray
That we'll be back together someday"
- Breathe, "Hands to Heaven"

It was the last day today. =(

Much shorter than what I expected, it ended around 3 something. It was good still, I had plenty of 'moments'. Nice ones, some funny. All filled with her. That 3rd year angel. I found out she was smart, hehe. She called me 'kiah, gandang' (I think), I called her 'Munjen'. I wished I was her partner for the whole course instead. That would be really, really nice =)

She seem to prefer to hang around me, and I liked that. But before I could give her my number (she asked ! ), she left cos she finished up earlier. Dang.

No matter, I'm still going to ask for her msn over email. It's not over yet!

----------

This reminds me of the days when I used to want to go to school. Was even excited to go to school. Lol I arrived so early today that I was the second earliest student to reach the class. After all, I can't afford to be late. Every moment late is a moment lost. And I am racing against time. While in the quiet expanse of the room, someone new came in and seemed lost. Threatening to take a seat near me, my mind glared mentally, mentally chopping that very cherished spot next to me which belongs to her. Bingo, baby it works.

And all those familiar memories flood back today. Of schools and crushes. Walking beside them, lunching with them, laughing with them, sitting next to them, stealing glances at them when they aren't looking, coming to school for them. I wished this first aid course lasted forever, becos I don't want it to end. The problem with seniors is that you get to see them so rarely. One course/event, then goodbye we've gone our separate ways.

I actually topped the first aid class in the theory test today. Nice surpising touch. But I rather the prize of you. That shine would put a smile on my face. *isn't it very alluring when girls with dimples smile at you? lovely. wouldn't trade it for the world*

So much for my quest of self-improvement. Sure I've learnt some things. I think I can handle CPR no problem. But I think as the days go by, throughout this course, I'm more interested in learning about you. Instead of looking at how you do your bandages, I look at you while you do your bandages. Instead of looking at my notes, I look over them to catch a glimpse of you.

It's an epidemic of feminine beauty in this school. And appropriately so, just look at this blog. It talks about NOTHING but girls and more girls. I've never stooped lower. And I know it's just terrible and aimless. But what to do? When you come from somewhere like N J to SM U. It's like an african child brought to a buffet. Sigh, SM U girls, they will be the death of me. Then again, ever heard of dying during your favourite activity/passion?

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

You are intoxicating.

Did you know that? Two days and I can't get enough (of seeing you) already. How sad it's gonna end soon. Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe that's not a good thing if amazingly, the stars look upon me favourably this time but unfortunately I didn't know. And how am I to ever know? Unless I lay my cards and show hand on the table, to risk.

But you are so fine. Just like so many of them. So very very fine. You're playful and I like that. No, I love that. Because it's so rare, and it's the one thing that got me hook line and sinker that first time around. With a smile that could kill. It's such a rush when you tease and then smile, that mega-watt dimple smile and double eyelids. Eyes that can talk. (I'm so glad you sat next to me, cos you are beautiful indeed.) Just give me more time I think I'll like the more I see. Cos this little bits and pieces are poignant enough to tug.

Haha, maybe it's just me. Or maybe not. But S MU girls are very alluring. Especially the seniors! Gawd, the seniors.. sigh. My batch isn't very good, standard is dropping. Cos I'm starting to develop a taste in older women. It's always the seniors who astound. It's always the seniors I notice (be it beauty or heart). Sometimes, when you get beyond people's beauty, the person inside disappoints. It's dead. No personality. No.. spark. But these girls, speak to them and you have that typical difference, that edge that the school claims to project of. Some of it is true I guess, evidently. The way they speak to you. That individuality. Pretty girls =bitches? But why, when you are so very fine. Even to me.

Perhaps I have to edit my fave catchphrase (coined together with sam). It should be, "Hi, I think you're more than cute."

*Jo's gaydar techinques can't be trusted. This is not a science. (perhaps in the future it would be but I won't bet my allowance on that). So what if I saw a shadow of a moustache today? It's only the light, even if it isn't, it doesn't mean anything either. Some things are just too good, it's impossible to be true. Although when time pushes on and I cannot stop time to enjoy the moment eternal, I want to believe it. I'll settle for nothing less than gold cos that is what I want. Not silver or bronze, that glory is not enough for me. Heck, it doesn't even mean anything. It's all or nothing.*

F*ck, you're in my head. And so is all that wisdom from 'converters' and the pros, "you'll never know". Yeah, I'll never know. Unless. And it's a thought that wretches and twists.

I have only one day left. Tick-tock.

Last friday, I had the opportunity to go see steff i in live band action. It was a private function at this uber-cool, chic little fusion restaurant off Mohd Sultan. Some place weirdly called... A Zhang. At first I thought it sounded cheena, so therefore it must be some canto/hokkien restaurant. But surprise surprise, when I entered and was greeted by the sight of white linen, wine glasses and ang-mohs.

It was the first time the restaurant had a music act in the house. And it wasn't just stef and her other jazz duo, there was also this (supposedly) Singapore Ido l contestant guy whose name was Christopher. Now this Chris guy was baby-face cute. He was so God-like handsome I actually stared. LOL. (then ji n said maybe it's becos he looks like a girl, and that made me ponder for a while). He had a great voice too. But that night, it was an ang moh hippie duo who really really brought the house down. You know sometimes, I don't really fancy listening to live music cos alot of live music I've heard. Well. Most of the live music I've heard. Are just baaad. And then after hearing those two men that day, it struck me that Singaporean men really cannot sing. Or play. Becos this two anonymous angmoh guys outplayed, outsang every 'local performer' I've ever heard. They play without notes with such skill on the guitar, and they can sing. Even pretty boy Chris couldn't compare. They were so good, that the audience clapped, hollered, called for encore, and when they went up to play a second time, people were clapping their hands in the air.

And the best thing was... I had VIP seats right in the front row of the 'stage-area', and so had full view and surround sound of divine music. It's as good as listening to your ipod. Maybe better.

Oh, did I mention the food? How could I not mention the FOOD.

The food was awesome. Amazing. Much much better than what I expected out of the measly 25 bucks I had to shell out. It was served buffet style, mediterranean fare. There was grilled sweet potatoes with mustard wasabi sauce, spiced meatballs, the best barbequed chicken wings I've ever eaten, chicken curry with sweet onions, carrots and brinjal (too hot though), spinach with bacon, honey-grilled pork ribs, corned beef fried rice and WINE. Awesome riesling that was smooth, not too sweet and just very gentle on the palate. And champagne as well. Wow, liquor in excess. And I didn't even have to pay cos generous people were opening bottles on the house! (Plus steff kept coming to juliette, who works in the wine industry, and offered her glasses of red for her to taste and identify. From which region? Which country? Old world or new world? Burgundy or Bordeaux? What vintage? It was all very interesting wine-speak lol)

Later I turned to jo and said that all dinners should be like this and that this was a night to remember. And indeed, it is a night to remember. A great way to kick start december. Month of parties =).. In fact, this whole stretch from Christmas till the end of Chinese New Year celebrations next year, it's gonna be an endless parade of parties again. And. I. Can't. Wait. =)

Life is good when exams are over.

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On a separate note, I signed up for a first aid course in SM U. Met a lot of new nice people there, and had this absolutely funny and hilarious intructor. Best of all, okay, no. It's NOT the best of all. (But it's a nice touch anyways). There's a very angelic year 3 with adorable dimples in my class. And she's a nice nice girl =). Once again, strangey's theory of pretty girls = bitches, is wrong.

But I can see it in your eyes that you're probably HIGHLY probably straight. What's new. Meanwhile, at least I have two days left.